A Maderel Exclusive
Have you ever looked at how you treat the people you love and thought, “I just want to date someone like me”?
You aren’t asking for a millionaire. You aren’t asking for a supermodel. You are just asking for someone who matches your effort. When you are a naturally giving person, it is very easy to end up with people who are naturally good at taking. But eventually, being the only one who tries gets exhausting.
What “Matching Energy” Really Looks Like
When you say you want someone like you, you are really just asking for the basics of a healthy relationship. You want someone who is:
• Intentional: They don’t just “go with the flow.” They make real plans with you and keep their promises.
• Emotionally Aware: They know when you are having a bad day without you having to spell it out for them. They care about your feelings.
• Paying Attention to Details: They remember your favorite drink. They remember the stories you told them last week.
• Showing Up Without Being Asked: You shouldn’t have to beg your partner to be there for you. A good partner sees a need and fills it.
The Danger of Being the “Giver”
The biggest mistake naturally giving people make is thinking that if they just love someone hard enough, the other person will eventually learn how to love them back.
But that’s not how it works. If someone is used to you doing all the work, they will just let you keep doing it. You end up planning all the dates, starting all the deep conversations, and fixing all the problems. That isn’t a partnership.
Stop Lowering Your Bar
Do not let bad relationships make you think your standards are too high. Wanting someone to be intentional and emotionally aware is the bare minimum.
If you bring a full table of effort, respect, and love, do not let someone sit down if they bring nothing but a good excuse. Keep your heart open, but keep your boundaries firm. Wait for the person who looks at how you love, and decides to match it.
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